9:11

in the summer of 2003, a friend told me that whenever i see the clock at 9:11, i have to say a quick prayer in my head asking God to be with the families of september 11th.  8 1/2 years later, twice a day my eyes are directed to a clock at 9:11 am/pm.  it freaks me out most days to be completely honest.  i never ever purposely look at my watch at that exact time, it just always happens.  sorta like those who look at the clock at 11:11 and make a wish every time...this is just a different wish at a different time.  sometimes when i look at my clock and it reads this time, i think..."oh my goodness this is so bizarre" or "yay! this was such a perfect reminder for me to pray for other things" or "im dancing, do i have to pray right now?" or "is there really a reason for this or is it just a weird thing i've adapted?" or "should i pray for these families still or should i be praying for something else so consistently?"

vivs, britt and i saw "extremely loud and incredibly close" after the byu basketball game tonight

i saw previews for this and was automatically intrigued.  for some weird reason, i love learning about big catastrophes.  9-11 has been one of them, especially because i think about it twice a day.  and when we watched this movie tonight, i literally think i cried the entire 2 hours and 9 minutes.  

at least for me, 9-11 seemed to be a little different experience for those of us on the west coast.  i didn't know anyone personally effected by the tragic event, let alone anyone who knew anyone effected. obviously we grieved and mourned but i guess i didn't fully understand until i watched this movie. i thought of all the prayers i have ushered to these people across the country and thought of how stupid i am to have thought at times, "is this necessary?" it is so necessary and not only necessary but so humbling. 

so if/when you see the clock at 9:11 (cause you will now) think and pray for a hot second for the families of 9/11 and thank God for the country we live in.  i am so grateful to live in a country where i can feel safe on a run in the streets, where i was able to have a free education, where i can freely believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saint, where i can confidently know that i have a bright future, where i can devour all the GOP debates and gossip i can and vote this election, and the list goes on and on and on.  i don't remember who told me this little habit to have but who ever it was, i am grateful. 

so tonight, im heartbroken for "oscar" and others just like him but i am more so hopeful for them. 

ill keep praying, i promise.